Emma and her special heart

So since the name of my blog is My heart belongs to Emma ~ I thought I should tell you about Emma.  Emma is my 14 month old amazingly beautiful, free spirited, sweet, kind, loving, funny baby girl.  Her smile makes each day worth it.  She makes me want to be the best person I can be.  They always say there is no love like a love a mother has for her child~and I do not think anyone can fully understand that until they become a parent.  I would move heaven and earth for my girl.  I love her with every fiber of my being.  It is a love you cannot explain, there are no words to describe it. 

My sweet girl arrived a month early ~ September 9, 2009 (9-9-09). I think she just wanted a really cool birthday :)  She earned herself a trip to the NICU because she was having some blood sugar issues.  The wonderful nurses and docs took such great care of her.  The neonatologist on call said "I think she has a slight heart murmur, but nothing to worry about.  The cardiologist will be in later and he will take a look."  I had no idea at that moment that my life had been changed.  Several hours later sitting in my room alone I had the visit that would let me know my life was changed.  Dr. Sean Levchuk entered my room with papers and pictures of hearts and told me that our sweet little angel had tetralogy of fallot.  I honestly felt like someone kicked me in the stomach.  It is a feeling like no other.  Just gave birth, breastfeeding, baby in NICU, hormones raging, alone and now you are telling me what??? My 2 day old baby girl has a congenital heart defect and she is gonna have to have open heart surgery sometime before she is 6 months old???? are you kidding me???? This happens to other people not us. It is one of those things that is so hard to wrap your head around.  Feels like a dream.  The way the nurses look at you changes.  The doctors talk to you differently.  The other moms on the floor look at you with sad eyes.  It is surreal to say the least.  This is the day our family entered the world of congenital heart defects. I was amazed to find out that 1 in every 100 babies born has a CHD.  Why had I not heard of it before? This is just one of the many questions that came up and that I have spent the last 14 months trying to answer.  I think it will take me a lifetime to figure it all out.  I do truly believe Emma and her special heart are a gift.  I know their is a reason or a purpose for Emma having her special heart.  I have not found it yet but I hope to find it soon. 

look at that face!