so.....

I am feeling kind of lost.  Floating thru the days without any direction.  Trying to find a purpose.  My main purpose these days is being Emma's mom (which I love).  But as all moms know being a mom comes with a heavy price. When I am not with her I am super anxious for much of the time.  But I do realize I need time to be me.  I try to take some time every once in a while.  Somewhere along the way over the past few years, I have disappeared. I spend way too much time trying to please everyone else and I have pretty well decided that this has to stop.  I need to take care of me and Emma.  I need to make sure we are happy.  So here I go pretty well just rambling ~ this is how the thoughts in my mind are.  I feel one way and try to convince myself I should feel another way.  I let other people dictate how I should be or what I should do or blah blah blah.  Like seriously if you have a beef with me or what I am or am not doing you need to discuss this with me~do NOT relay this message thru someone else. 

I want me back.  I am going to stand up for me and my girl!  Stop being so worried about everyone else's feelings and just worry about me and Emma.  If you don't like it ~ either have the balls to tell me or stay the fuck away!!!!!